Have I told you about the tension of opposites? he says. The tension of opposites? Life is a series of pulls back and forth. You want to do one thing, but you are bound to do something else. Something hurts you, yet you know it shouldn’t.
You take certain things for granted, even when you know you should never take anything for granted.
A tension of opposites, like a pull on a rubber band. And most of us live somewhere in the middle.Sounds like a wrestling match, I say.
A wrestling match. He laughs. Yes, you could describe life that way.
So which side wins, I ask?
Which side wins? He smiles at me, the crinkled eyes, the crooked teeth.
Love wins. Love always wins.
~ Mitch Albom, Tuesday’s with Morrie
In the childhood we are used to this “Quality Controls” of our parents. They used to keep a check on the type of friends we have, the places we roam etc. Logically, that aspect is extended to the type of University we study, the companies we work with, the type of colleagues we associate with and on personal side the people we make friends with, the partner we choose, the family partner is associated with. Life is all about the “Company”.. to be specific …it’s about people or organizations or families or teams you are associated with.
There are many verses that praise the effects of good company(the people you associate with). However this is very interesting among them :
सन्तप्तायसि संस्थितस्य पयसो नामापि न ज्ञायते
मुक्ताकारतया तदेव नलिनीपत्रस्थितं राजते ।
स्वात्यां सागरशुक्तिमध्यपतितं सन्मौक्तिकं जायते
प्रायेणोत्तममध्यमाधमदशा संसर्गतो जायते ॥
You cant even notice a hint of a drop of water fallen on hot iron. The same
drop shines like a pearl on a lotus leaf. And in the ‘swati’ nakShatra fallen inside a sea shell, it becomes a pearl .. Usually
excellent, medium and bad states (of a person) are dependent on company( the people you are associated with)
“You don’t need another human being to make your life complete, but lets be honest. Having your wounds kissed by someone who doesn’t see them as disasters in your soul but cracks to put their love into is the most calming thing in this world” – Emery Allen
“Sometimes fate is like a small sandstorm that keeps changing directions. You change direction but the sandstorm chases you. You turn again, but the storm adjusts. Over and over you play this out, like some ominous dance with death just before dawn. Why? Because this storm isn’t something that blew in from far away, something that has nothing to do with you. This storm is you. Something inside of you. So all you can do is give in to it, step right inside the storm, closing your eyes and plugging up your ears so the sand doesn’t get in, and walk through it, step by step. There’s no sun there, no moon, no direction, no sense of time. Just fine white sand swirling up into the sky like pulverized bones. That’s the kind of sandstorm you need to imagine.
And you really will have to make it through that violent, metaphysical, symbolic storm. No matter how metaphysical or symbolic it might be, make no mistake about it: it will cut through flesh like a thousand razor blades. People will bleed there, and you will bleed too. Hot, red blood. You’ll catch that blood in your hands, your own blood and the blood of others.
And once the storm is over you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.”
Life is something which we need to live without regrets.
And then dying each moment, wondering, what if I had done this…what if I had spoken honestly my mind to Mom and Dad from my teenage itself…what if I had studied my favorite course on Geology instead of Computer Science…what if I had bought my Harley Davidson bike instead of this big car… what if I had proposed to this person..what if I had confessed honestly my feelings for this person…
what if I were lil patient…what if I had a check on my temperament…what if I had explored World instead of buying home and paying EMI’s …what if I had started my own company instead of slogging in different corporates…blah blah blah blah….
Yeah, definitely we will not succeed all the times…we might fail…but still..we will face life because they are our choices and we will not be regretting about them 😉
Life is meant to be lived without regrets…even if in this moment, God of Death invites us, we should go along with him happily because we are sure we lived each moment without regrets.
And when we are old and dying and when God takes us along with him we shouldn’t experience the trauma of “Regrets”.
Ok..then the immediate question that pops up our mind is…”Damn…won’t people make fun of us if something or everything goes wrong”..”Won’t our loved ones abandon us if we are a failure”…”What happens to my image if this person rejects me or if this business venture fails”..Yes all these might happen, or not happen or some more things also happen…but you know what…you will still be happy instead of being a mechanical sad Robot.
However, we need to strengthen ourselves in dealing the criticism, setbacks. We need have to have faith in the God who sent us to this planet, we need to build faith and support in our parents , friends and our mentors about our ideas. This support system and discipline, patience with ourselves will definitely help us live the life we want to 🙂
In reference to this I just got reminded of this quote of Mark Sloan from Grey’s Anatomy :
“I want you to promise me something. If you love someone, you tell them. Even if you are scared that it’s not the right thing. Even if you’re scared that it will cause problems. Even if you are scared it will burn your life to the ground. You say it, and you say it loud. And then you go from there….”
Live the life you want to live before it gets too late 🙂
Do check this video : https://youtu.be/Bf8EDsfStOU
Transfers from one place to other help us a lot. As a part of Dad’s work we used to get transferred from one place to other for every three years.During my Dad’s transfers from my L.K.G to P.G I got to study in various schools and Colleges in Various cities and towns.
Every time, we got transferred from one place to other it was a challenge for us to get used to new place, new climate, new people, new culture. However, we used to enjoy transfers. Dealing with transfers helped/helps my brothers and me a lot in our life. We developed the capability to adapt to the “Changes” in life; We make friends easily; We share our ideas well by expressing in a proper manner, we tried to develop our communication skills because of transfers; We developed interests in various languages, religions, cultures, people, music,history, books and food; We learnt how important is “Tolerance” in life.
There is some inherent magic and immense learning involved in transfers.This happens almost with everyone who are used to transfers. When you are used to transfers,you are empowered with the capability to start life again and again with optimism in-spite of several setbacks. I am not trying to glorify “transfers” however am just trying to share the advantages of transfers 😉 . My brothers and me always thank Dad for helping us shape our personality with the help of transfers.
Next time, if at all you get an opportunity for transfer, don’t hesitate to move. Believe me, transfers are going to help 🙂
Interestingly, got to read about the advantages of transfers in the chapter “Displacement and Process” of this lovely book “Go Kiss the World”. Here are some of the thoughts of Mr.Bagchi about Transfers (Page No 20: Go Kiss the world book):
When you are continuously displaced, you make friends easily. You have low expectations from the unfamiliar; hence you are more pleasantly surprised than frustrated when faced with life’s many ups and downs.
You explore everything around you, develop curiosity-new lands, customs, food and ways of doing things begin to draw you in.
You learn to survive on the strength of who you are, just for this day, today.
You build ingenuity in order to survive.
You trust strangers and, hence, strangers trust you.
You build intuitive capability to sniff trouble- which can tell you when to leave a bar!
You become and interesting person, because you have lots of stories to tell.
“No one is ever really alone. Even when there’s no other person around, there still must be—Someone. Someone who made you and therefore cares what happens to you. Someone who will help you if you do the best you can. So you’re never alone. You can’t be alone, no matter what you do. That’s the secret of happiness, of doing things well, of everything.” – Arthur Gordon : The Star
PS: Found this wonderful quote when I was checking old books of my Big Brother. This quote is truly inspirational. It just reaffirms the necessity of having HOPE.