Posted in Humour, Management

SIX LESSONS OF LIFE

SIX LESSONS OF LIFE

Lesson 1: Naked Wife
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.” After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.

After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks,…

“Who was that?” “It was Bob the next door neighbor,” she replies. “Great!” the husband says, “Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?”

Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

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Lesson 2:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, “I’ll give each of you just one wish” “Me first! Me first!” says the administration clerk. “I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.” Poof! She’s gone. “Me next! Me next!” says the sales rep. “I want to be in Hawaii,relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.” Poof! He’s gone. “OK, you’re up,” the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, “I want those two back in the office after lunch.”

Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.

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Lesson 3:
A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said,”Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest removed his hand. But,changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest apologized “Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.” Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, “Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.”

Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

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Lesson 4:
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked him,”Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?” The crow answered: “Sure, why not.” So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.

…A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up.

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Lesson 5: Power of Charisma
A turkey was chatting with a bull “I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,” sighed the turkey, but I haven’t got the energy.” “Well, why don’t you nibble on my droppings?” replied the bull. “They’re packed with nutrients.” The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it wont keep you there.

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Lesson 6:
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Moral of the story:
1. Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy
2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend
3. And when you’re in deep shit, it’s best to keep your mouth shut !

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(Post Courtesy: Facebook page)

Cheers,

Prasanna Rayaprolu

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Posted in Complex Human Mind, Humour

Granny In A Pub

Image Courtesy Google:
Image Courtesy Google:

I was always curious to know how a Pub looks like and how people party in a Pub. I missed several opportunities earlier, however this time I did not want to miss the “Golden Chance”. From the kind of family I come from, going to a pub is as adventurous as Felix Baumgartner’s Redbull Stratos Balloon Jump. However, my parents and Brothers knowing my COURAGE gave me the permission to do this COURAGEOUS ACT of going to Pub , to attend a party that too in the afternoon time of the day (Afternoon is the Keyword here). My Mother being My Mother suggested me to be careful and not drink this and that.. in-spite of knowing that my standards did not increase from masala buttermilk and orange juice.

My trouble started a day before itself. Just to ensure that people like me don’t  go to pub with traditional Kajeevaram Silk Sarees, we were instructed to wear SMART CLUB CASUALS. I was just with the expression “Ayyoooo Rama!!” . I did’nt know what these Club Casuals were..that too Smart Club Casuals. However, did’nt want the world to know about my “Ignorance on Smart Club Casuals”, I took the help of my lovely GOOGLE UNCLE. However, to my trauma, the search results scared me further. In the result I found several wonderful models with variety dresses, there was not even 0.00001% probability that I would buy those, because even in my craziest dreams I could never imagine myself in those attires.  However, I fixed this issue by wearing my regular jeans, my favorite top and scarf.

Finally, the day of party arrived. I reached the destination along with my friends. Each and every step of this mission sounded interesting. So, right before the pub, there were some hefty gentlemen, they were noting our details. With my prior googled and market research knowledge I was expecting the gentlemen to put some stamp on hand, however he tied a wrist band kind of stuff.

So with excitement, confusion, curiosity I entered the pub.Hmm!! I some how forgot that party at pub is not a religious ceremony where the guests will be received with sweet smile, where they will escorted to a right place.  Entering into the pub was like jumping into a swimming pool. People entering into the pub were not entering slowly like me, they were walking with some rhythm which I could not decipher. Body Language Matters a lot!!! If you are entering into a religious place, you need to have this body language of God fearing, Good Samaritan looks. If you entering into a class to take a lecture, you need to have this confident, graceful and cheerful attitude and body language. Silly me!!! While entering into the pub, had this body language of a Garlanded Goat in a procession which is about to be sacrificed for holy rituals. If you observe that goat, it will be confused and lost.

Lighting in the pub was also interesting. That lighting reminded me the climax hospital scene in Maniratnam’s movie Gharshana.  I was kinda surprised to the kinda volume of sound in the pub. At that point that I was thinking about my Dad. At home Dad, scolds me whenever I raise the volume of  Music Channel in TV. I thought what would be Dad saying for this kinda volume. Lots of our friends were already dancing there happily to the music. I was with the expression “OK!! This is the battlefield and these are all warriors”. Like a peaceful warrior I  skipped the place and went to upstairs.

There we did have the ammunition related to the battle. I was trying to act unnecessarily brave even though that much bravery was not necessary in that situation. Normal greetings were exchanged with the people there. Then finally time has arrived to reach the dance floor. In my family we never danced at home or any other functions…thats crazy but true..South Indian Brahmin families BAU activities and special project activities does not have DANCING in their SCOPE. So I never had an opportunity to dance. My friends started dancing and I did’nt even have an urge to dance . At that moment I felt like a Confused traditional Grandma in a Pub.

I somehow managed to stare at different people, things in the pub, people in the pub. Everything sounded different. I felt like an alien in a planet. I did’nt want to bother my friends & create a drama, as I myself was not sure what thoughts were going in mind at that time, so I silently came out of the pub.

I had a deep breath, slowly walked in the mall, went to a book shop. There people were not in a hurry, They were slowly, calmly browsing the books and I felt as if I returned to my planet. I bought Sense & Sensibility; Pride & Prejudice of Jane Austen. Browsed those books having a nice Coffee.  Mean while my friends were calling me to know where I was. I still don’t know what they might have thought when I said to them that I was reading a book & having coffee instead of attending the party 🙂 . I really loved the way they cared for me, in spite of being busy in the party.

One thing for sure, I realized that everyone does not belong to every place. Each person has their own lovely crazy world, they need not disturb their lovely world just to impress the people they care 🙂

Cheers,

Prasanna

Posted in Complex Human Mind, Humour

24 By 7 I love You ;)

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Did you ever think about the dangerous Flu at office…..am not saying about Swine Flu, Bird Flu…… am saying about Love Flu.  Good news is ..this is not contageous..however you fall sick seeing the people affected by this Love flu  which is caused by love bug 😀

People say that Love is Blind, Love makes people Mad, Lovers do not bother about caste, creed, nationality, economic status, language (I  think gender is also added to these list of words 😉 ) as people say, Love is beyond all these. However, I have something to add to this list about love and lovers – Love is UNPROFESSIONAL and it makes Lovers UNPROFESSIONAL

Let me put this louzy UNPROFESSIONALISM OF LOVERS in simple words…for a real world girl friend…her boy friend is the super man or batman or whatever; for a real world boy friend…his girl friend is the beauty queen of the world and above all he or she is the world for them.  Perfect!!! Awesome!!! Their tiny world…each one for each other. However there is a twist in the tale or should I say there is a  main villain called “Work” and assistants of the villain called ” colleagues at work place”.

A real world girl friend or a real world boy friend is never bothered about these villains of their life 🙂 . They are so dedicated to their lovers that they don’t even allow their work to disturb them. They talk talk talk all through the working hours except for breaks to attend nature calls or emergency calls from Boss. All through the day, they don’t mind speaking to their lovers. Please don’t ever try to put a test to your brains by thinking….how the hell do they speak for those many hours…that too during working hours…that too in office….above all ..don’t ever try to think…what is the job profile or education background of the other person on the phone. May be …May be ..that person also might be working in another office…just like the fellow before you 🙂

Image courtesy google

Meanwhile…if at all by your past karma or your bad luck if you happen to have such love bug bitten member in your team…you are gone.  He or she will always be speaking to himself/herself ….Nah!!!! Actually they will be speaking to their lovers through earphones. See! Think logically!!!! How can a person hold a phone for 24 hours….use technology!!! use!!! If at all you have to speak to them…don’t even ever dare to go to them and speak them directly….ping them in your internal messenger or your outlook.  They might or might not reply according to their convenience. As said earlier, these sorta love flu lovers, will never let their bloody work or colleagues come in between their life. Work should’nt be a disturbance…ain’t it 😉 . If at all you get a golden opportunity to get their glance after prolonged waiting….they give you a lousy look and you feel so guilty ..abashed for disturbing that love bug bitten colleague of yours. Oops!!! forgot to add, this lover once in a while requests other person on the phone by saying….am busy…am in meeting…am in training…I have lot of work….I will ring you in half an hour.  This is a typical case study of lovers in different locations. If the lovers are in SAME office, then forget that you have a team member. You will never time to meet them :D..they will be  in advanced stage of the love flu who are in ” 24 by 7 I love you” mode by default.

Added to this, you have some other categories like….24 by 7 Blushing machines and 24 by 7 Junk  machines.  These sorta people blush blush blush for NO reason all the times…particularly some girls belong to this category…..they complete 9 hours of their work by blushing 😛 . On the other hand we have 24 by 7 Junk  machines who speak only junk and try to attract the opposite gender by endless and meaningless talk.

Silly me wonders….what makes a person lovable to that extent….without doing our work and without letting them do their work. By the way, how lovable is a person if he/she DOES NOT HAVE  respect to the work they do, respect to the company they work for, respect to the profession they are into and respect to the colleagues of their work place. Does these sort of brands have any BRAND VALUE at least in the eyes of their lovers??? or should we think…junk is what junk does and junk is what junk gets….

Cheers,

Prasanna Rayaprolu

Posted in Complex Human Mind, Humour, India Shining

Who are you? Who, who, who, who?

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Last week, I got a detailed intro about an acquaintance of mine from his team mate.  She said to me in an animated manner with lots of expressions “You Know what! Need to be careful about that person, he is a Rajput and that too from North India”. Quite unperturbed by this intro, I spontaneously reacted by saying “Ok! If he is a Rajput from North India, I am a Brahmin …that too from South India”.  I told her ” Baby! If Rajputs are known for their bravery , South Brahmins are known for their intelligence. And for your kind info, the nature of a person is not dependent on the caste, gender, region or nationality of a person. If only Rajputs are brave then the armed forces might have had only one regiment 😉 , if Brahmins are the only intelligent folks then the useful decision makers of the world might have been only Brahmins. In that case, there will be no place for Rajputs in calm and patient fields like Art, Films, teaching, Research & Technology, they must always be put in battle field running on their  horses and driving away the enemies and Brahmins will have no place in any other field except their prescribed fields  like puja paat in temples, teaching in ved pathshalas or decision making job in courts of kings 😉 😀  . One more thing!! Every one is Brave and Every one is Intelligent and its only the matter of situation and timing that reveal these qualities in a person. Necessity makes people bring out all those hidden qualities like Bravery, Intelligence, Patience, Tolerance etc out according to the requirements ” . After saying this dialogue I felt like Super Star Rajnikanth of Tamil Film Industry. I did not bother to notice the expressions of other girl as I felt she needed this dose of dialogue for making me annoyed unnecessarily. Some how I felt comical and crazy about this conversation.

Image Courtesy Google

Nothing annoys me more than the reference of caste, economic status, region or nationality of a person. A person is a person. The humanity , thought process,  behavior, character, intelligence, wisdom of a person is something internal, divine its not decided by the external factors. Some people think they are smart and they try to question you “Who are you?  Who, who, who, who?” . They are bothered about your family name, region, native place, language, the slang of your language, your religion, your caste, your sub caste, your economic status , your martial status blah blah.. .. I don’t mind referring such folks to  FBI or CBI as they are good in quizzing..atleast the mysterious and pending cases can be solved in a faster pace.  I like scaring such folks by saying additional info like my BP, my hemoglobin levels, any history of malaria, chicken pox, accidents, fractures and all…hehheh

Its often strange to see these orthodox thinking people not bothered about these caste, nationality, gender and region patterns in the cases of essential services and activities. If they are bothered about aligning with only their caste, their region people all the times…they should go only to their category of Doctors, their category of schools, their category of governance etc.

I wonder if anyone is really bothered about all these unnecessary parameters like Religion, Caste, Gender, Nationality, Region in the times of medical emergencies like getting blood transfusion or getting help of platelets etc….Sounds ridiculous right!!! Similar manner to live an ordinary, peaceful life with  harmony with fellow human beings we should not bring all these unnecessary parameters. We should teach our younger generations about the importance of humanity instead of raising them up with all these unnecessary parameters. Hope, atleast those people will not be bugged by the question “Who are you?  Who, who, who, who?”

Meanwhile, you too keep on wondering  …Who are you?  Who, who, who, who….by hearing this ….

Cheers,

Prasanna Rayaprolu

Posted in Humour

Random Thoughts on Complex Indian Serials and Films

Brainless stories and Films are really good energizers. They have immense power to make your day humorous. The senseless twists and meaningless turns in serials and films make your world better. Reason!!! When you come back to real world you feel very happy that your real world is simple and logical than those serials or films 😉 . Thought of writing some of the silly things from some Indian serials and some Films

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Why is that in Serials and Films people from extremely different backgrounds get attracted and they happen to fall in Love. We have several interesting combinations like very very poor Heroine and very very rich Hero; very very rich Heroine and very very poor Hero. Can’t normal deals and stories be made? May be love is blind. May be those hero and heroine are not bothered about this materialistic world , wonder if they are poor in Maths and Economics 😉

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Why is that in Serials and Films we still have completely illiterate Hero or Heroines. Added to that the illiteracy of that Heroine or Heroine is depicted in “Cute” manner? Oh My God! Is Illiteracy cute even in this 21st century 😦 Wonder why did’nt those Hero or Heroine make an effort to have basic education instead of concentrating on make up, variety of cloths and all. I still cannot figure out how “illiteracy” is  found to be cho cute and chweet!!! . In real world people are dying to improve their lives by studying more and more…with quotas and without quotas…whereas in this serails 😦 . Wonder how an illiterate hero or heroine is found to be interesting for any one 😦

Image Courtesy Google

Why is that in Serials and Films , whenever a Hero gets hurt on his head or hand , Heroine immediately tears her saree or dupatta so easily and ties that cloth to the Hero. Mind you!!! That saree or dupatta will not be some simple cotton material it will be some strong silk or polyster material. Wonder if that Heroine has long nails or may be she has expertise in tearing strong clothes easily 😦 . This trick of Heroine is still followed in serials, saw this bit couple of weeks back in Bandini Serial in which Santu tears her saree to the wounded head of Dharamraj Mayyavanshi.

Image Courtesy Google

Why is that in Serials and Films, if a Hero or Heroine disguises himself or herself , all of us can easily identify our Hero or Heroine and unfortunately not even a single person in the screen, I mean in the serial or Film does not identify. May be all those people are of poor IQ levels 😉 The crazy part is the disguising is just done with minimal things like a ghoonghat for girls and beard , spectacles for guys. They should not try such cheap tricks on audience. They need to take lessons from Kamal Hassan or Amitabh on this make up issues.

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Why is that in Serials and Films, the Heroine takes up the job of Sherlock Holmes or James Bond and does all the investigation. Why does’nt she inform the people in the house about the problems and why does’nt she take the help of Government , legal system instead doing all the silly investigation and wasting our time. Tulsi, Parvathi, Jassi, Bani , Santu…uff this category  of heroines is endless…in all these serials the heroes who intially were depicted as intelligent, tech savy and wise turned into duffers without minimal common sense…such feminist serials…hahhha.

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Why is that in Serials and Films, the main characters go into coma and come back in wrong time. In some cases they come with extremely different faces. How is that this extreme medical technologies are not available in real world. The interesting part is during all these surgery people even grow or get short in their height. Such a wonderful medical science and medical technologies. Wish we get all those in real world 😉

Image Courtesy Google

Why is that is Serials and Films, we get to hear variety of chants and music in the background. Who is going to sing all those. Why is that they show the expressions of each persons multiple times with that khadoos , weird music. Do all these people have some problem. Why is that their reaction time is sooo slow 😦

Whatever…as long as people watch we get to see all these stuff. Do share in this post your observations on Indian serials and Indian films.

Cheers,

Prasanna Rayaprolu

Posted in Humour

What if words in my blog have the power to speak?

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Upon lot of introspection, I felt that I need to change the theme of my blog. It has been so many years that I really cared about the looks of my blog.  The thought of changing the theme of my blog made me emotional. I some how have special bond with the previous theme of my blog, it is such a clean and green theme.

I like greenery anywhere whether its real life or internet life . So, I searched for a while different themes and finally chose this theme. Actually, one of my acquaintances adopted this theme for their blog and I felt that the layout is clean and neat. So I too applied the same theme for my blog. Nah! That’s not called COPYING. Its called getting INSPIRED 😉

Change is good , however it is inconvenient too. Dealing with NOSTALGIA is the biggest challenge in CHANGE. When I was dealing all these emotions I suddenly got a thought “What if words in my blog have the power to speak?” .

Immediately I started writing the emotions of WORDS in my blog ‘while undergoing the journey of change’. Here are those feelings of my words:

“Oh My Dear Prasanna!!! First of all thank us for bearing you all these years. You know what!!! It takes lot of courage, tons of patience, gallons of persistence to deal with you and your emotions. You are so inconsiderate towards us. You never bother to worry about our working hours, our capabilities. You write whenever you want and whatever you want.

Prasanna!!! Do you understand what are we saying? We are breaking our heads to understand your psychology. One day you sound like a simple, God Fearing , Old fashioned girl and on that day you write  cute words, other day you sound like a Harsh, Atheistic, Tom Boyish girl and on that day you write all unconventional stuff. Help us in understanding you !!!

Prasanna!!! One day you write  Inspirational stuff and on that day when we try to come to a conclusion that you are an inspirational girl the next day itself you write stuff which makes one sob and sob and sob….!!! What sort of girl are you Prasanna!!! Help us in understanding you !!!

Prasanna!!! One day you sound like a feminist and mind you give interesting examples to back your silly theories and by the time, we (words) start understanding you, you write another post shouting at the top of your voice ” Do women need reservation”. Prasanna!!!  For heaven sake, Help us in understanding you !!!

Prasanna!!! Please would you mind confessing one thing!!! Don’t you write all the serious stuff in the name of “HUMOR”. To which variety of humor does your humor belong to??? Don’t you have guts to write the serious issues as they are without adding your stupid humor to those stuff. Is it necessary to add humor to those serious stuff. Please!!! Help us in understanding you !!!

Prasanna!!! One thing for sure.  Whatever item you are! Whatever species of mankind you belong to. We love you. All these years you were very sincere with us. You were never hypocritical with us. You shared your feelings with us without any hesitation. You had faith in us. Your trust in us means a lot to us. Its a big responsibility. We know that we are your best friends in the world. In fact you consider us as your family. So we too accept you as you are. We too have undergone several emotions of yours all these years. We cried when you cried, we laughed when you laughed.

Prasanna!!!  Today you wanted to make us more beautiful. You tried different themes. Initially we were very adamant. We showed our acceptance or refusal to the themes by adjusting in them and not adjusting in them. Prasanna!!! Some themes were so pathetic that we felt suffocated in those. However, you chose this theme, this sounds good. We have faith in you, we trust your choices. This theme is really spacious. We are really excited to change into new theme. However, as you know Prasanna!!! Change is good but it is inconvenient too. We feel like a new bride who moved from her maika to sasural. We feel soo nostalgic about our old theme. We remember all the good old days where we faced different situations of life. However, we being optimistic are looking forward with lot of Hope to this new theme. Prasanna!!! We really wish and pray that this new theme and change ADDS MORE COLORS TO YOUR LIFE. Have a nice time ahead”.

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Cheers,

Prasanna Rayaprolu

PS: People who have fainted after reading this crazy post of mine are advised to take one glass of lemon water. Please don’t forget to add lil bit of sugar and salt to those lemon water. Lemon water helps people in getting instant energy.