Posted in Complex Human Mind

Year of Introspection and Inner Strength :When Life Slapped ME Every Month in 2016


It all started with a joyful January 2016, like any other normal girl of my age, I was happy and merry that I will be “settling down” with the person I really liked.  And like most of the girls, I too was lost in the day dreaming of ” How to sort my new home and how interesting life looks like when I too get married “. Thada!!! Life slapped very hard for the first time in 2016 in the month of January. Somehow, things didn’t work and I did’nt get married. Oh yeah! This is not a great thing to be advertised on my Blog or FB post, however, this SLAP of life in January was hard and painful.

It was a time, I just lost interest in career or life or anything. I took a good one month break in February and all I did was ” For the first week,  all I did was to realize what exactly has happend in January, Cry as much as I could (Secretly) .  I didn’t want to get depressed or waste time like a loser. I was determined to become strong and deal the situation. The remaining weeks of February I spent in introspection, forgiveness, gratitude, prayer, lots of reading. I did all these by staying close with my Mom and Dad. I did focus on improving my car driving skills. This month helped me build my inner strength to a good extent.

By March 1st of 2016, because of my good break in Feb, I was completely recharged. I got back to my work and I was completely recharged. I started with my new assignments and Thada!!! Life slapped again with HEALTH slap. I had a terrible food poisoning and got dramatically hospitalized and was busy with it for some days. By this time, I was really ashamed the way 2016 was so unkind to me.  Thanks to Mom, Dad,  Martin, Amit, Alka, Sharo, Bishakha (My Bengali Tigress) for taking care of me in this crazy time of mine. I survived  and was normal only because of these few people. They were very vigilant about my well being in this time. They ensured that the crazy and lively Prasanna is back to form.

April was a super good month . I was back to my form and I totally focused my entire time on Work.

May. May is my birthday month and I received unconditional love from somany wellwishers. Comewhat May…I always celebrate my birthday very well with my family members. I just love spending my birthday with my family members. I celebrated my birthday very well happily. Thanks to my Second Brother, Sis in Law and my Niece for making my birthday more special. Tiny celebrations in the rough times really mean a lot 🙂 In May, I visited Europe for the first time(infact it was the first time I visited anyplace out of India) and .it was an awesome business trip. I went to Riga in Latvia and Helsinki in Finland. Met lot of wonderful people. This trip was so special to me because I met somany stalwarts with respect to my work. It was a enriching working experience working with those learnt people. Apart from my work, in this trip I met my Senior Colleagues from my previous organizations. The time they took out of their busy schedules to come and visit me for lunches and dinners is something which I will cherish for entire life time. Thanks to Leena and Veer ji. My special thanks and regards to Liisa for such a motherly care and good discussions on life in Helsinki. Interactions with these people helped me to heal very well of my silly disasters of January. In later months, realized, the January thing wasn’t a big deal compared to the other slaps of 2016.

June was a busy month at work with new mentors and  wonderful month of trips to Hyderabad to home. There is nothing more joyful than having hands-full of work at office and ample opportunities to spend time with family in hometown. Not to forget about the regular days in Pune with the caring friends.

July. The month of frequent trips to my friend’s place as my bestie Bishakha was heavily pregnant by this month. Month with lots of excitement about the delivery of my friend and all the talks about the pregnancy, the feeling of mother.

August. The month, 2016 SLAPPED ME and KILLED A PART OF ME FOR ENTIRE LIFETIME. My friend Bishakha died after delivering baby on August 19, 2016. Even today after 4 months, I don’t want to accept the fact that my bestie expired and left all of us. I still don’t know how am i dealing this. Even while writing this post tears roll down my eyes. The cry i have is same as the cry i had on August 19, 2016.  I still don’t know how could my Bengali Tigress leave me without saying a proper goodbye. The only good thing is we see her in her daughter “Dugi” now. And Dugi is my brand new Bengali niece and I am her Pisi( Father’s Sister). And the only promise I can make to my Bengali Tigress Bishakha is that I will be the perfect Pisi to Dugi.

Technically, I really donot know how my August, September of 2016 have passed. These were the months of anger, frustration, confusion, trauma. I focused more on my office work in these months. Thanks to work for keeping me alive.

By the ending of September 2016, I was technically drained of all my energy, however was keeping myself motivated by praying and surrendering to God. Because, I didnt want to die out of pessimism. I was technically like the Gajendra of Gajendra Moksham. This was the time, my bestie Amit suggested me to read “Srimadh Bhaghavatam” . I started reading Srimadh Bhaghavatam from October and it is quite a really divine experience reading Srimadh Bhaghavatam. With the help of Martin, I started reading lessons from Bible. Reading these is helping me build my inner strength. There is a long way to go, however these holy scriptures and lessons are helping me understand the beauty of life  and the power of God. Without the inner strength, I could not have survived 2016.

Oh..yeah..with all these dramatic activities, I did ensure that I don’t lose the “Madonna element” in me. I am very happy that i could effectively make good use of the work opportunities given to me in learning several new aspects about  Transitions and Transformations. I am blessed to work with several senior leaders in this year.  I ensured that i did continue my regular habits of  travel, photography, blogging, exploring new places, cooking and watching movies in the first week of their release. In the ending of 2015 December, i stopped watching Television, I made a promise to myself not to watch Television for a year and throughout 2016, I didnt watch Television. I could save lots of time for my book reading, travel, walks, meditation. Yes, it was crazy year without watching TV, however I could get ample time for my own care and well being.

I am generally notorious for embarrassing my loved ones by expressing how much they mean to me. And I want to continue that good old habit of mine. Thank You Mom, Dad, Martin, Amit, Alka, Sharo and Bishakha.

Bishakha! Thankyou for being a great friend, rest in peace in heaven . I miss you badly.

********************

I believe in the plans of God and am looking eagerly to the brand new year 2017. 

Wish you all a happy 2017. Stay blessed. Don’t give up on yourself and Don’t give up on the God who created you. Life is beautiful and worth living. A bad year is not a bad life. And for that matter any year is not bad completely. It has something to teach and make us more beautiful.

Loads of Love,

Prasanna Rayaprolu

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Author:

A fearless Czarina and Shameless optimist who lives life by her own rules

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